The 12th full length comedy music album by 'the great Luke Ski' features his Logan Award winning parody about struggling to lose weight, "Candybars". He also pays tribute to "The Mandalorian", the women of "Star Wars", "The Twilight Zone", "Supergirl", "The Flash", "Adventure Time", and greatest animated series in the history of Cartoon Network, "Mighty Magiswords" (on which Luke was a storyboard artist, writer, voice actor, and songwriter for 3 years).
As the title implies, many of the tracks on this album are very specifically about what has been going on in Luke's life during the 8-and-a-half years that have passed since his last album. The best of times (living the animation life, and making songs for the FuMP dot com and running the MarsCon Comedy Music Track) and the worst of times (trying to make a living in the gig economy, navigating being single again in the 2020s, and the skin-melting heat of southern California).
And as a continuation from his previous album "4th Grade Talent Show" there are 7 new "Dumb Parody Ideas" tracks for you to enjoy / be reviled by. In any case, as Paul Sabourin put it during the "Paul & Storm" concert at FuMPFeST 2016, it's all "Needlessly Meta".
Includes unlimited streaming of Needlessly Meta
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
...more
An original R&B / hip hop slow jam about how difficult it is to write a love song in the late 2010's / early 2020's without saying anything that could be considered problematic.
Luke Ski returns to the FuMP to do the scariest thing he can think of... express his point of view on a specific aspect of a current societal paradigm via the art of the comedy song. Will he survive? Who knows.
lyrics
(Uh!)
Excuse me ma'am, turns out I am
So moved by you for real.
With your consent, I'd like to present
The way that you make me feel. (Aw yeah.)
Your intelligence is enchanting,
Your creativity's so funky,
Your razor sharp wit just cuts me up
Like a chainsaw wielding monkey. (Ooh ooh, ah ah ah!)
But if I want to woo you through and through
And keep this spell unbroken,
I can only use acceptable compliments
And leave some things unspoken. (Shh!)
If I want to survive in these modern times
And protect my social health,
If I think you're physically attractive,
I best keep that to myself, because,
This is my progressive love song, darlin'.
My oh-so progressive love song.
(You always return your shopping cart.)
An approved expressive love song, honey.
This is my progressive love song.
(You have great time management skills.)
Your talents are tremendous,
And your charisma is exquisite…
…I'm sorry, this is bugging me too much,
I just have to ask. Why is it (Why is it?)
When I say "you're smart, kind, fun, creative,
Compassionate, and more",
But then I add "you're also astoundingly gorgeous",
That negates everything before? (Why?)
Why are they mutually exclusive?
I'm no objectifying tramp.
Just because I think you look totally lit,
I don't think of you as a sexy lamp! (It's a major award!)
Why can't I say you're "brilliant" AND "beautiful"
If both those things are true?
Now I can try to continue my argument,
OR, I can try to get next to you, and I choose number two.
This is my progressive love song, sweetie.
My oh-so progressive love song.
(You sort your recyclables.)
Never an oppressive love song, sugar.
This is my progressive love song.
(You foster kittens.)
Girl… I know it's problematic when I call you 'girl'.
So please give me a little guidance here.
I could say 'baby', but that's infantilizing.
I could say 'woman', but that might sound like
I'm giving you a command, and that's just, no.
I could say 'female', but makes me sound like
a space alien… Or even worse, an InCel.
7,000 years of cis-het men,
Ruining the world again and again.
Doing as they want just to slake their thirst.
No wonder you'd look at me and assume the worst.
Decades of Boomers writing movies and shows
Where women were just props for the male-dude-bros.
To escape its influence is my resolve.
Please believe me, I want to evolve! (Pika Pika!)
You're clever, passionate, forgiving,
So wise and versatile. (You got style.)
And the way you light up every room,
It always makes me smile. (Wide as a mile.)
I can't take it anymore! Please let me get away
With one comment on your look, I hope!
Can I just this once tell you "YOU'RE HOT!"
Without getting the hook?! [[X]] Nope!
This is my progressive love song, princess
My oh-so progressive love song.
(You're reasonable as Hell.)
No bein' repressive love song, pumpkin.
This is my progressive love song.
(That's what I 'preciates about you.)
This is my progressive love song, muffin.
My oh-so progressive love song.
Not passive-aggressive love song, snookums.
This is my progressive love song.
All I'm asking for is the least bit of empathy and grace and the benefit of the doubt that I'm actually a decent human being and not a flaming douchebag just because I wanna tell you the way you look in that dress makes my heart beat like the Energizer Bunny hooked up to an arc reactor! I just want to tell you all the ways I think you're absolutely amazing including the ways that have to do with your eyes, your hair, your smile, and all the other body parts attached to them without you thinking I'm a creepy jerk! Oh, for the love of God, help me please!
Peter Parker: You look really pretty.
MJ: And therefore, I have value?
Peter Parker: No. No, that's not what I meant at all. I was just-
Kyle: Luke, are you letting your paranoia write songs again?
Luke: NO!... Okay, yes.
credits
from Needlessly Meta,
track released January 3, 2023
Music, mixing, and additional commentary by Kyle A. Carrozza
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
The opinions expressed here are mine alone....more
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supported by 13 fans who also own “Progressive Love Song”
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