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"I don't wanna grow up,..." so I never did. In fact a lot of Gen-Xers, Millenials, and Zoomers decided that the notion of 'putting aside childish things' at a certain age is a load of Gak. So we kept playing our video games, watching animated movies and TV shows, and of course, using our grown-up disposable income to buy all the toys we ever wanted, take them out of their boxes, and play with them, dangit! This parody of the Lizzo banger "Boys" goes out to all the kids of every age everywhere with all their toys, still playing. Celebrate them. Don't be a play-er hater.

[Toy enthusiasts may also enjoy my 2003 Transformers song "The Ballad Of Optimus Prime", available at my Bandcamp page.]

lyrics

"Toys"
A parody of "Boys" by Lizzo, about action figures, dolls, & other playthings.
Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski
© 2021 Luke Sienkowski


Hey! I just took a DNA test! Heh heh, yeah!
Turns out, I'm 100% Cabbage Patch!


A toy
came to claim joy.
You wanna play coy
with my GameBoy?
Jedi Knight toy.
Rainbow Brite toy.
Ghostbuster fright toy?
Go fly a kite toy!
Got a toy Green Beret,
a toy puppy stray,
a toy Bob and Jay.
He-man saves the day!
- Hey! -
I just came to play!
Got this toy speaking Spanish:
[Spanish Buzz:] Buzz Lightyear al rescate!

Hear my Furby speak to you…
Hot Wheels have a street crew…
Gobots that go 'beep - boooo'...
R-2 D-2!
[Optimus Prime:] Transform and roll out!

TOYS!
Tooooooys!
TOYS!
By the power of Greyskull!
[He-Man:] I HAVE THE POWER!
TOYS!
Tooooooys!
TOYS!
Cobra hits non-fatal!
[Joes:] YO JOE!

Cap-, -tain,
Kirk toys.
Steven Urkel toys.
Ninja Turtle toys.
Poké- Squirtle toys.
I like the Simpsons toys,
and I'll Play-D'OH!
Built a mansion
out of Lego!
Got an Autobot,
and Decepticon.
Got a MegaZord,
and a Voltron!
From the Smurf toys,
to the Nerf toys.
Universe toys!
I DESERVE TOYS!

My Spin Art is inky… (And Pinky, Blinky, Clyde…)
My Little Pony's Pinkie… (They call her Pinkie Pie…)
Barbie's dress is Slinky… (Get it? *laugh*)
Got Shrinky Dinks!
[Lion-O:] Thundercats, HOOO!

TOYS!
Tooooooys!
TOYS!
For the honor of Greyskull!
[She-ra:] I AM SHE-RA!
TOYS!
Tooooooys!
TOYS!
That's why I'm so playful!

[Buzz Lightyear:] To infinity, AND BEYOND!

credits

released September 14, 2021
Music & mixing by Jace McClain
Kiddo Chorus Vocals by Alexandria Isabella Rasey

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about

the great Luke Ski Burbank, California

"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .

Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.

The opinions expressed here are mine alone.
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