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When You Wish Upon A Death Star

by the great Luke Ski



From the FuMP .com, 11/20/2012,

In 2009 when it was announced that Disney bought Marvel, I quickly posted a song about it at the FuMP .com called "Marvel Poppins", which the fans really seemed to enjoy.

Three weeks ago when it was announced that Disney bought Lucasfilm, known primarily for the "Star Wars" franchise, within hours I was inundated with emails, texts, tweets, and Facebook messages from people demanding that I do a follow up song on this topic, including an email inquiry from Dr. Demento himself. And with that I said, "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go."

So, with the Star Wars franchise's history of making alterations to their films and re-releasing them into theaters, I present to you now a sneak preview of what to expect the next time you go to the cinema to see the saga again under it's new mouse-ear-hat-wearing, pixie-dust-laiden management. You're welcome.

Music by Supreme Chancellor Bob Emmet
Guest vocals by Princess Carrie Dahlby
and Prince Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad

If you're interested in hearing any of my 11 previous "Star Wars" related songs, or my 4 previous "Disney" related songs, check out my Artist Page at the FuMP, or visit my website the great Luke Ski .com.

MUSIC VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb0HmsPEt68

NOTE: This song won "Outstanding Parody Song" of 2012 at the 3rd annual Logan Whitehurst Memorial Awards for Excellence in Comedy Music.

It was also on "The Dr. Demento Show's" Funny 25 of 2012 at #18, and is currently the #4 most requested song of 2013.


---[To the tune of “When You Wish Upon A Star” from Pinocchio]---

Jiminy Cricket:
When you wish upon a Death Star,
Makes no diff- AAAHH!!!

(SFX: Death Star fires, blows up planet)

---[To the tune of “The Enchanted Tiki Room” from the Magic Kingdom parks]---

(SFX: Jawas babbling, R2-D2 heard beeping)
C-3PO: (robot effect on his voice:) Oh! Jawas! Filthy creatures! Where are you taking us?
Jawa: Uteeni!

Jawas: The Uteeni-teeni-teeni-teeni-teeni Room!
The Uteeni-teeni-teeni-teeni-teeni Room!
Lead Jawa: All the droids are void and full of gloom,
Jawas: In the Uteeni-teeni-teeni-teeni-teeni Room!

Lead Jawa: Welcome to our traveling desert dump,
Owen Lars and Beru.
Buy this protocol droid and this astromech,
and we'll throw in Wall-E too!
All together!

Jawas: The Uteeni-teeni-teeni-teeni-teeni Room!
The Uteeni-teeni-teeni-teeni-teeni Room!
Lead Jawa: Watch “Polyanna Jones And The Temple Of Doom”,
Jawas: In the Uteeni-teeni-teeni-teeni-teeni Room!

---[To the tune of “This Is Halloween” from the Nightmare Before Christmas]---

Scum: This is Tattooine, wretched hive of villany,
Better shoot first, or it'll be your last!
In our bar, everybody's mean!
On this planet Tattooine.
Watto: I am the guy betting on a pod race,
Now I got Hutt debt collectors in my face.
Ponda: I am the guy, wants to cause Luke harm.
Face like a walrus, and a newly severed arm.

(SFX: lightsabre cuts arm off)
---[To the tune of “The Ballad Of Davy Crockett”]---

Homer & Jethro:
Lives on a mountaintop on Tattooine.
In his youth, he once rescued a queen.
Trained Anakin when he was just a teen,
but couldn't stop him from becoming a machine.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
stinked up the vile frontier.

---[To the tune of “Part Of Your World” from the Little Mermaid]---

Princess Leia:
Told Tarkin lies, he called my bluff.
Alderaan is where I kept my stuff.
Now it's debris.
Can't believe he, blew up my world.

Ursula: (spoken:) Those poor unfortunate souls!

---[To the tune of “Reflection” from Mulan]---

Princess Leia:
Dewbacks on the Dune Seas
weren't here in the 70's.
This Special Edition has things I don't know.

---[To the tune of “Grim Grinning Ghosts” from the Haunted Mansion]---

Thurl: When the Clone Wars start, he'll use martial art.
G.G.G.s: Wields four blades like a Cuisinart.
Thurl: Robot bones and scary eyes.
G.G.G.s: Lightsabres decorate his thighs.
All: Grim Grevious goes, and kills all the Jedis.

---[To the tune of “Friend Like Me” from Aladdin]---

Boba Fett:
Mister Lord Vader sir, who will my bounty be?
Let me take your order, hunt them down.
You ain't never had a Fett like me! Oh, ho ho!

Boba Fett: (spoken:) Oh, no the Sarlaac Pit! Aaah! (SFX: Sarlac eats him, gulp!)

---[To the tune of “You've Got A Friend In Me” from Toy Story]---

Sarlacc: I've got a Fett in me.
Boba Fett: (spoken, muffled:) Let me out! I'm very popular!
Sarlacc: I've got a Fett in me...

---[To the tune of “Be Our Guest” from Beauty And The Beast]---

Admiral Ackbar:
It's a trap! It's a trap!
We fell right into their lap!
The Empire saw us coming.
Soon our ship will just be scrap.
Sheilds down? Watch us soar!
Lando, fly into that core.
Those brave Ewoks sure aren't yellow.
Maybe they got help from Willow.

---[To the tune of “I Just Can't Wait To Be King” from the Lion King]---

(Darth Vader voice effect on all of Vader's lines/vocals.)
Vader: Luke, I am your father, and so we are all connected, in the circle of life.

I'll redefine the genre serial myth.
Oh I just can't wait to be Sith!

Emperor: You've got a long way to go, my young apprentice.

---[To the tune of “The Bare Necessities” from the Jungle Book]---

Emperor: Remember Ahsoka Tano, your padawan you called 'snips'?
Vader: (spoken:) Yeah?
Emperor: Now realize she got murdered, heh heh heh, by my Order 66!
Vader: (spoken:) What?!
Emperor: You two were quite close, and that makes you sad.
But don't feel that, instead get real mad!
Embrace your hatred, and see what happens,
Get dark side power to choke your captains,
Like your dead wife from Naboo...
Vader: (spoken:) Qui-Gon, man, solid Qui-Gon!
Emperor: The Bare Neces-SITH-ties of life will come to-

---(music flops to a stop because the Emperor is suddenly interrupted by Jar Jar.)---

Jar Jar: (to the tune of “It's A Small World”) Meesa Jar Jar after all!
Emperor: AAOOWW! You threw off my groove!
Vader: I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove.
(SFX: Hatch opens, Vader grunts, throwing Jar Jar out. Jar Jar yells as he falls.)
Jar Jar: Meesa sorryyyyyy!
Vader: You were saying?

---[To the tune of “Gaston” from Beauty And The Beast]---

Men: No... one... blasts them like Han.
Smuggles past them like Han.
Greedo: No one slices a Taun-Taun in Aspen like Han.
Girls: He'll evade every loan shark and bookie.
Han: For your causes, I really don't care.
Greedo: You can see his co-pilot's a Wookiee. (SFX: Wookiee growl)
Han: That's right, 'cause every last inch of him's covered with hair!
Girls: No one pleases like Han.
Men: Carbon freezes like Han.
Greedo: Becomes decorative sculptural friezes like Han.
Han: And I killed Boba Fett without even trying!
All: Who do we want? It's Han-

---[To the tune of “Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me” from Pirates Of The Caribbean]---

All: -Solo! Solo! A smuggler's life for me!

(SFX: laser cannon fire, people laugh, say ARR! Etc.)

---[To the tune of “I Wanna Be Like You” from the Jungle Book]---

Yoda: Oh, the king of the lightsabre swingers I am,
The Jedi V.I.P.
'Till we got attacked, the Empire struck back,
And that's why I live in a tree.
Luke: I wanna be a Jedi Master,
And get my ship out of that ditch.
Yoda: Well, do or do not, there is no try,
And stop being such a whiny apprentice. Hoo hoo hoo...

Luke: Oh, well, no duh! Back-up: Well, no duh!
I wanna be like Yo-o-da Yo-de-doe-de-doe-da!
A Jedi knight like Yoda, da!
fight like Yoda, da!
So-o much. Really really!
Yoda: You know a Je-e-di A jedi!
Craves not these thi-i-ings No, they don't crave these things!
So scat you will with
Kenobi while he si-i-ings!

(Ghostly reverb on all of Obi-Wan's vocals:)

Obi-Wan: Hey!
Lott Dod, Nute Gunray!
Max Rebo, Dooku, Salacious Crumb!
Dennn-gar, Boba Fett, Bossk,
IG-88, and 4-LOM, Jabba,
Bib Fortuna, Gonk, Sebulba!
Luke: Ponda Baba!
Obi-Wan: with Aayla Secura!
Luke: Jan Dodonna!
Obi-Wan: with Oola, Mon Mothma!
Luke: Lobot, Gardula the Hutt,
Obi-Wan: Ki-Adi Mundi!
Luke: Lando, Jango!
Obi-Wan: Greedo, Watto!
Luke: blblblblblblblblblblblblbl!
Obi-Wan: Boss Nass, baby!
Luke: Tarpals, Padme Amidala,
Obi-Wan: Kit Fisto and Grand Moff Tarkin,
Luke: Sy Snootles and Palpatine,
Obi-Wan: and Wedge and Biggs and Fode and Beed!
Luke: Dexter Jettster!
Obi-Wan: Ashoka, Chewbacca!

Luke: You-oo-oo Back-up: hoop-de-weep
all wanna be like Lu-u-uke hop-de-doobie-doo-wop
You wanna spy like Luke, cheep
fly like Luke, cheep
too-oo-oo weebie deebie doo boo
Obi-Wan: I must warn you-oo-oo, shoobidy doop
the Dark Side is tempting. Obi, Obi, Obi
Vader: You can learn to be, like someone like me!
Luke: Take me home, Daddy!
L, Y, & O: Can learn to be, like someone like you!
Yoda: One time more!
Vader: Yeah! Can learn to be, like someone like me!


Vader: Cad Bane, Zuckuss, Zam Wessel, and Windu, and Porkins, and Nien Nunb, and Droopy McCool, and, and, wait, who are you?
Mickey: Ha-ha! I'm YOUR father now!
Vader: Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

(the end)


released November 20, 2012
Lyrics & vocals by the great Luke Ski
Music by Bob Emmet
Guest vocals by Carrie Dahlby and Chris Mezzolesta




the great Luke Ski Burbank, California

"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .

Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.

The opinions expressed here are mine alone.
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