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Project Sisyphus, featuring the great Luke Ski & Carrie Dahlby, with lyrics by Spaff - A Middle East Country, A Middle Earth Mountain Troll

from Target: Audience by the great Luke Ski

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Written by Bob & Spaff at the FuMP .com, 6/3/2008

Back in the BRT days - Before Reality TV - television networks were forced to actually spend money on their programming, hiring actors and writing scripts. This was time-consuming and expensive, and often left frightful gaps in that prime-time window between "Mannix" and "Love American Style." Hence, the birth of a 1970s-era icon: the Variety Show. These star-studded musical/comedy extravaganzas were often little more entertaining than a test pattern, but viewers surprisingly tuned in, faced with the alternatives of game-show reruns and endless Watergate hearing coverage.

If you're too young to remember these spectacles, take heart: Ladies and gentlemen, Project Sisyphus is proud to present "FuMP-In," a re-creation of an authentic Variety Show in all its polyester-clad glory. Starring Luke Ski and Carrie Dahlby, it's a singing tribute to the artists of the FuMP from the good ol' days of sponsor-supported television.

The highlight of "FuMP-In" is the hosts' parody of "A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock 'n' Roll" - the infamous Donny and Marie Osmond hit as reimagined by Spaff. The song by itself, incidentally, is available here.

Thanks to Tom Smith and Chris Mezzolesta for their delightful cameo appearances.

lyrics

"FuMP-In!" sketch, with "A Middle East Country, A Middle Earth Mountain Troll" lyrics:
Sketch written by the great Luke Ski, "A Little Bit Country" (Donnie & Marie) song parody lyrics by Spaff.


[cue song, Carrie and Luke singing:]


Carrie: I'm a Middle East country.

Luke: I'm a Middle Earth mountain troll.

Carrie: I've got sunshine, deserts, and burqas.

Luke: I’m horrific but my wits are kind of dull.

Carrie: My name is Something-stan.

Luke: I swallow hobbits whole.

Carrie: I'm a Middle East country.

Luke: I'm a Middle Earth mountain troll.


Carrie: I’m a little explosive.

Luke: I put dwarves on my Quaker Oats.

Carrie: I’m a little ultra-religious.

Luke: I’m a little bit gruff with billy goats.

Carrie: I’m disconcertingly real.

Luke: I might be fictional.

Carrie: I’m a Middle East country.

Luke: I’m a Middle Earth mountain troll.


Carrie: I offer camels, sand, and Muslims, and crude oil in rich supply.

Luke: If I stay out till the sun comes up, then I turn to stone and die.


Carrie: I'm moving slowly…
To secular control.

Luke: I bash those freaking Wood-elves with a club like Whack-a-Mole.
Like me, you’re poor as dirt…

Carrie: …Or rolling in the dough.
I’m a Middle East country.

Luke: I’m a Middle Earth mountain troll.


Carrie: I may have mostly flat topography, but my Crescent is fertile.

Luke: I got a job at Hot Dwarf on a Stick, just to dress in style.


Carrie: My people love me…
By reflex or by force.

Luke: I barbecued my in-laws, so my wife filed for divorce.

Carrie: I’m arid and I’m extra-dry.

Luke: Not me! I’ve got B.O.!

Carrie: I’m a Middle East country.

Luke: I’m a Middle Earth mou-

[Singing and music are interrupted by thunder, Gandalf says:]

Gandalf: “DAWN TAKE YOU ALL! AND BE STONE TO YOU!”

[A long pause, as if they've been turned to stone, and then, spoken:]

Carrie: “Who was that?”

Luke: “My ex.”

Carrie: “Ohhhh.”

[Followed immediately by the song resuming, back to singing, simultaneously:]

Carrie: I’m a Middle East country, and you're a Middle Earth mountain troll!
Luke: You're a Middle East country, and I’m a Middle Earth mountain troll!

[song ends]


Luke: Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen!

Carrie: We'll be right back!

Luke: Up next, our guest emcee, Lars, interviews international fashion guru, JoCo, who will announce this year's winner of the title "Mr. Fancy Pants"!

Carrie: Stay tuned!

['Everything's A Song' Theme song reprise music plays as audience applauds]

[Fade out applause & music. The end]

credits

from Target: Audience, track released June 3, 2008
Lyrics by Spaff
Performed by the great Luke Ski & Carrie Dahlby
Cameo by Tom Smith
Music & production by Bob Emmet

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the great Luke Ski Burbank, California

"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .

Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.

The opinions expressed here are mine alone. ... more

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