[Kyle:]
Let me tell you all a story that goes off the rails.
I was in a pet shop called “Tails and Fails”
I thought I’d walk out with a little goldfish
But then everything went slightly amiss

There was a cat inside that caught my eyes
It was cute, in its way, if you could look beneath the flies.
I brought her to the register. They said her name was Flo.
Then they said there was a thing I really oughtta know.

Before the clerk could even start to say another thing
I paid and ran ‘cause I am very bad at listening.
I sat little Flo upon the passenger seat
But soon the seat was gone. Is that what a cat eats?

I got to my house and Flo ate my door.
The fleas on her body were super hardcore.
They ganged up on me and they said “y’know
This house now belongs to a cat named Flo.”

[Chorus]
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.

Kyle: Now to bring you the second scene
my Scooter Picnic brother Insane Ian!

[Ian:]
I was a tad concerned that the fleas began to talk
Then one pulled out a gun and said “now turn around and walk!”
The rest had grabbed my wallet and passed it on to Flo
Then next thing I knew I went out my window

As I sat there stunned in the middle of the road
I thought to call for Triple A but nothing needed towed
I’d call for the Police, but what could I say?
Besides the fact the fleas also took my phone away

As I brushed myself off to head back into my home
I heard a nasty sound and my heart sunk like a stone
It sounded like a weasel choking on an arcade token
Next thing I knew, I saw my house was smokin’

I opened up my door and cried at the disgrace
Flo and all her friends seemed happy in my place
My whole house was trashed, then I saw my trophy case
Twenty years of bowling memories just had been erased

[Chorus]
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.

Kyle: Bringing it in with chapter three
Here’s a verse from the great Luke Ski!

[Luke:]
So for my final battle, made the weapon I would use:
A ball of roman candles. I ran in and lit the fuse.
I hollered "Cowabunga!" as I lobbed it at Flo's head,
but all the missiles missed her and blew up my house instead.

Dust and chunks of brick and wood and Flo showing her claws.
Tied up by the fleas who took me close to kitty's jaws.
But when I was an inch away it clearly could be seen,
She really twern’t a cat at all, she was a Wolverine.

And by that what I mean, it was Hugh Jackman in disguise.
He stood right up and I sat there befuddled with surprise.
He’s researching a role for a new movie out in May.
The fleas were featured extras making 60 bucks a day.

The film won all the Oscars and the fans stole my debris.
Just then I got this item in a package sent to me:
A garment reading “I survived a Cat Named Flo attack,
And all I got’s this t-shirt and a TV's Kyle track!”

[Chorus]
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo,
A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A Cat Named Flo, A kitty named Flo.

[Kyle:]
...Flo.