When Will Frank (nickname 'scifantasy') responded to my Kickstarter survey question which asked for feedback on what the song should be, he said, "Probably doing a "geeky lawyer" bit is the best bet... ...Generally, "Geek at Law" would be a decent jumping off point, I think". I couldn't agree more. I used the 'Funk' setting on 'Magic Garageband' for the music for this one. I think it was a perfect fit. Special guest appearances by Chris Mezzolesta of 'Power Salad' and Carrie Dahlby. You can hear their comedy music at TheFuMP.com.
lyrics
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime, and the attorneys, one of whom is really into science fiction and fantasy. This is his story. [Dun-Dun]
Judge: People vs. Lex Luthor. Mr. Luthor, you are charged with criminal mischief for encasing the Daily Planet building in a block of Kryptonite jello. Bail is 13 million dollars, you wanna pay with cash, Visa, or PayPal?
Lex: Not so fast, your honor. First you need to talk to my attorney...
Lex: He’s Frank!
Singers: Will Frank!
Lex: Geek at law!
Singers: Will Frank!
Lex: He’s the Billy Flynn of fandom, full of knowledge and intrigue.
When it comes to justice, there is no one in his league!
Singers: He’s Frank!
Lex: Will Frank!
Singers: Geek at law!
Will: Your honor, I move for a mistrial based on the fact that all 12 jurors are secretly cylons!
Cylon 1: That is not affirmative. We are native New Caprica-, I mean, New Yorkers.
Cylon 2: Hey yo, I am from da Bronx over here.
Cylon 1: Fuhgeddaboutit.
Cylon 2: Brooklyn in da house, y’all.
Cylon 1: Go Red Sox.
Cylon 2: Shhh! No! Shut up!
Lex: He’s Frank!
Singers: Will Frank!
Lex: Geek at law!
Singers: Will Frank!
Lex: The bailiffs cheer and women swoon when he makes an objection.
But that is nothing compared to his PokeMon collection!
Singers: He’s Frank!
Lex: Will Frank!
Singers: Geek at law!
Judge: Mr. Frank, the prosecution claims that the dog owned by your client, Tyrion Lannister, is the mother of his client’s puppies, and demands back support payments. Do you have anything to say in his defense?
Will: Yes! A Lannister always spays his pets!
Lex: He’s Frank!
Singers: Will Frank!
Lex: Geek at law!
Singers: Will Frank!
Lex: If you’re arguing with your gaming group about who will lead the journey,
Don’t call the dungeon master, no, you need a good attorney.
Singers: He’s Frank!
Lex: Will Frank!
Singers: Geek at law!
Will: Mr. Albertson, you claim that your Dungeons & Dragons character, MurderFist the Barbarian Warlord Dwarf has an 18 charisma?
CBG: That is true.
Will: Will you raise your right hand and swear to it on this original copy of the D&D monster manual?
CBG: Why certainly.
Will: Your honor, please note that his fingers are covered in chocolate, the same chocolate found smeared on Exhibit A, his character sheet, proving the defendant literally FUDGED THE NUMBERS!
CBG: Curse you, Keebler Elves! Your deliciousness is my epic fail!
Singers: He’s Frank!
Lex: Will Frank!
Singers: Geek at law!
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
The opinions expressed here are mine alone....more
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