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A parody of The Spice Girls' "Wannabe", about "Buffy The Vampire Slayer".

lyrics

(*Opening Buffy theme sound bite*)

Way down in Sunnydale, shiny happy Sunnydale,
Yeah down in Sunnydale, spooky scary Sunnydale,
Right at the mouth of Hell, things are really not that swell,
Cause there's creatures that impale, so if you want to prevail
You gotta (*punch*), you gotta (*punch*), you gotta (*punch*), you gotta (*punch*),
You gotta really really really wanna kill a vampire!

If you want a future, learn from the past.
Buffy is the chosen one, of the Slayer cast.
She faces evil, like Spike and Dru,
But she is the slayer, she knows what to do.

So tell me what to hurt, what to really really hurt.
I'll tell you what to hurt, what to really really hurt.
You gotta (*kick*), you gotta (*kick*), you gotta (*kick*), you gotta (*kick*),
You gotta really really really wanna be a slayer.

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta protect your friends. (Gotta protect your friends!)
That's why Willow and Xander, haven't met their ends.
If you wanna be a slayer, you have got to train.
Slayin' ain't too easy, you cannot be too vein.

Now what you think about that? Now you know how she feels.
Angel is her one true love. Their love's for real. (Their love's for real.)
She'd be real tasty, on Angel's fangs.
That's why when they hug, he gets those hunger pangs. (*Grr!*)

So tell me who to love, who to really really love.
I'll tell you who to love, who to really really love.
You gotta (*kiss*), you gotta (*kiss*), you gotta (*kiss*), you gotta (*kiss*),
You gotta really really really wanna be just like Buff.

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta get it on the first take. (Gotta get it on the first take.)
Gotta ask those tripped out vamp boys, 'How'd you like your stake?'
If you wanna be a slayer, you need a watcher like Giles. (Watcher like Giles.)
His idea of a good time, is sorting through his files.

Spike: Now, here's the story on the gang Scooby.
There's Tara and Cordy, and also Dawn and Wesley.
You got Oz in the place, with fuzz all on his face.
You got Willow, yes, she's the techno-witch and
Xander, he's in love with Anya. She's a demon lady.
(*smoke, exhale*) And I'm Spike, you'll see me
Looking pretty tough, light up and take a puff,
Turn my head and scoff, then tell you to "Sod off!"

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta switch networks fast. (Gotta switch networks fast.)
Gotta tell those TV suits that, quality costs cash.
If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta be home by Dawn. (Gotta be home by Dawn.)
Don't hog all the Glory, have Faith, and you'll live on.

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta (*punch*),
You gotta (*kick*), you gotta (*kiss*), you gotta (*Grr!*), you gotta-
Must have stylish hair. (*Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!*)
Slam a demon down, and stake him to the ground.
Slam a demon down, and stake him to the ground.
(*sound bite of staking vamp*)
Slam a demon down, and stake him to the ground.
Slam a demon down, and you'll save the town.

Spike: C'mon love, you wanna go out for a bite, with ol' big bad? Hey! All right! Put Mr. Pointy away! (*smoke, exhale*) Ah, bugger this!

If you wanna be a Slayer!

credits

from Greatest Hits Volume 1: 1996​-​2003, released July 28, 2003
Lyrics & Vocals by the great Luke Ski
Lyrics by the great Luke Ski, Stephanie Wild, & Nichol Archie
Lead vocals: Chemele
Music & engineering: Daniel Robinson

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the great Luke Ski Burbank, California

"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .

Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.

The opinions expressed here are mine alone. ... more

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