This song rounds off my trilogy of songs by people who gave me no actual information about themselves on which to base my song about them, after them having donated literally hundreds of dollars to me for that specific purpose. Fortunately in this case, I know that Wayne Ross is the man behind the comedy music podcasting & streaming database website "The Mad Music Archive" where he goes by the monacre "Captain Wayne". Knowing that, there was really only one direction this song could have possibly gone, really. This song took a little extra time because the ever awesome TV's Kyle took time out of his own busy FAWMing schedule to add some accordion and vocals to it. Thanks Kyle!
lyrics
Let me tell you all of a mighty man who seizes every day.
Departs his home in Hampton and heads east to Raritan Bay.
He leaves behind what kin he has, be it siblings, sons, or daughters,
and steers the bow of his vessel into international waters.
Once free of the laws of men of land, he calls upon the crew,
and with a nod, they snap to work, they all know what to do.
They hoist up metal dishes to the sky with bits of twine.
“Turn on the generators, mates. It's time to go online!
For somewhere on the web's a gloomy gus, forlorn and gone,
who hasn't heard the latest viral “Lonely Island” song,
he's needs a dose of laughter served up quickly like a bomb,
so send the fool a link right now to 'Mad Music .com'
Yes, cast away, me hearties, whether it's a pod or stream.
There's never been a funny song that's too weird or extreme.
Dementia will help people get through one more 9-to-5,
says the Elegant Captain Wayne of the Mad Music ARRR-chive!”
Some sailors use a net to catch great fish from spinnin' yarns,
but the only fish in our internet are sung by 'Barnes & Barnes'. (Art & Artie: Yeah!)
Some people ransack torrent sites, where music gets waylaid,
“But this ain't music piracy, our artists all get paid!”
His crew is made of DJ buccaneers you've heard before,
Like Manic Monday's Devo Spice straight from the Jersey Shore. (Devo: Now I'm in this too!)
Commodore Stavro Arrgolus stands at the helm with flair,
as we sail along the airwaves when A-Logg is on the air.
Get swindled by a Khan Man sitting in his Comedy Corner.
DJ Particle swings from stem to stern, but no ones dares to warn her.
She scours across the world for songs, from St. Paul to Stonehenge,
“but if you mess with her Top 20, then she'll soon get her Revenge!
If you still get demented all the time, not now and then,
then raise a glass to David Tanny and to Wacky Ben!
For though the power of comedy, this world we will survive,
says the Elegant Captain Wayne of the Mad Music ARRR-chive!
Take us home, boys!”
He's plundered royal treasures and seduced our nation's females.
I can't confirm or deny these facts, 'cause he won't answer my e-mails.
And thanks to all his efforts, we can laugh and feel alive!
“Thanks to the Elegant Captain Wayne of the Mad Music ARRR-chive!”
The Elegant Captain Wayne “of the Mad Music ARRR-chiiiiive!
Mad Music .com!”
[*goat noise*]
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
The opinions expressed here are mine alone....more
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