Part 2 of a 5 part sketch in which famous cartoon characters compete against each other on the reality TV show "Survivor".
lyrics
Hellaholio Tribe
Jay Sherman: Over at the base camp of the Hellaholio Tribe, their current task is to get a fire started, so that they can boil their drinking water, as well as find and cook their food.
(SFX: different ambient beach and/or jungle sound effects in BG)
Hank Hill: All right, all right, everybody settle down. Now we have some work to do, and we need to do it quick before the sun goes down. Now since *we* are the adults here, myself and Boomhauer…
Boomhauer: Mmm, yo.
Hank Hill: …will be the leaders of the tribe. We have a task at hand, and fortunately it won’t be too difficult, because my luxury item is this propane grill. Yep, this beauty I got with my 5% employee discount from Strickland propane, is the Gas-Master 3000.
Beavis, Butthead, Cartman, & Kenny: (all laugh at what Hank said)
Hank Hill: Yeah, I find it awe inspiring too. So, if you’ll all step up and take turns, Boomhauer and I will demonstrate how to get the grill going by properly lighting the fire.
Beavis: Fire! Fire! FIRE! YEAH! FIRE!
Butt-head: Shut up, dillhole! Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Oh yeah, heh hmm heh, sorry about that.
Hank Hill: Now why don’t we start with the young’uns, here, since propane safety starts at age eight. Just step on up, son.
Cartman: Yeah, yeah, whatever, lets just get this thing started, I’m starving! I ran out of cheesy poofs like 40 minutes ago!
Hank Hill: Heh, so full of enthusiasm. You remind me of my son, Bobby, what with the funny voices, and being husky and all.
Cartman: Hey! I am not fat! And you’re one to talk, Mr. narrow urethra!
Hank Hill: Now pay close attention, Eric. First you activate the propane emission.
Butthead: He said ‘emission’. Huh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh hrm heh.
Hank Hill: Then you push the ingition spark button… And there you go!
Cartman: Sweet! Let me get my pot pie out of my back pack.
Beavis: Hey! No fair! I want a turn! I wanna burn stuff!
Cartman: No, Beavis, it’s my turn to use the grill!
Beavis: No way lard butt, I wanna burn things!
Cartman: NO BEAVIS! THAT’S A BAD BEAVIS!
Beavis: OUT OF THE WAY, FAT ASS!
Cartman: RESPECT MY ATHOURITAH!!!
Beavis: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!?!
Cartman & Beavis: (continue to yell things at teach other in unison)
Hank Hill: Hey hey hey! There is no horseplay allowed around the Gas Master 3000!
Beavis, Butthead, Cartman, & Kenny: (all laugh at what Hank said)
Hank Hill: Besides, now it’s Kenny’s turn.
Kenny: (muffled beyond comprehension: What?!)
Hank Hill: C’mon Kenny, step on over to the barbecue grill and I’ll show you how to light it.
Kenny: (muffled beyond comprehension: No f***ing way!)
Hank Hill: Daylight’s a-burnin’ here, what’s the hold up?
Kenny: (muffled beyond comprehension: As soon as I press that button, the grill is going to explode or something!)
Hank Hill: Well that’s just silly, Kenny. Propane grilling is the safest form of cooking known to man. Boomhauer, why don’t you help Kenny out. You know, uh, mentor him, or something?
Boomhauer: Sure thing, Hank, now… (Boomhauer mumbles in his way explaining to Kenny how to work the grill)
Kenny: (muffled beyond comprehension: says things back as if he understands and does it correctly.)
Hank Hill: (choking back tears) If I live to be 100, I hope someday to have such a touching and eloquent man-to-man talk with my son Bobby, boy I tell you whut!
Butt-Head: Whoa! That’s why seem so, uh, familiar to me, or something. Uh huh. You sound just like that old Tom Anderson dude! Huh huh.
Hank Hill: What the Hell are you talking about?
Beavis: Yeah, you sound exactly like that fartknocker! He’s always like ‘What the hell are you boys doin’ with my lawnmower?’
Butt-head: Yeah! Huh huh. (continues to laugh)
Beavis: ‘You boys leave that dog alone, you little bastards!’
Hank Hill: Now see here! If you two don’t start being good role models for our impressionable younger teammates, I’ll take you over my knee and give you some capital punishment, Texas style, boy I tell you whut!
Beavis: ‘Boy I tell you whut!’ (continues to laugh)
Hank Hill: You’re right Boomhauer. Always the clear voice of reason. Okay, so lets move on to the next thing we have to do now that the grill is going, and get our metal pot full of well water so we can boil it. You see, we have to boil it to kill any of the foreign germs in the water supply, making it safe to drink. If we don’t we all could very well get diarrhea.
Beavis & Butthead: Diarrhea! Cha cha cha! Diarrhea! Cha cha cha!
Cartman & Kenny join Beavis & Butthead: Yeah! Diarrhea! Cha cha cha! Diarrhea! Cha cha cha! (they all laugh)
Hank Hill: *sigh* Them boys ain’t right.
Butt-head: Uh, speaking of ‘Daria’, huh huh. Why aren’t there any chicks on this show? Huh huh huh.
Boomhauer: The kid makes a dang ol good point, man.
Beavis: Yeah! I mean, I came out here to win money, score with hot chicks in bikinis, and eat rats! And I haven’t done any of that stuff yet! Heh heh. Dammit! Heh heh.
Butt-head: Hey, uh, Beavis, got that, uh, luxury, uh, bat of yours?
Beavis: Yep, got the baseball bat right here. Heh hmm heh.
Butt-head: Well, uh, I think I know how to get some rats to show up!
(SFX: Kenny death sting music)
Kenny: (muffled beyond comprehension: Uh, oh.)
Butt-head: Hey, uh, Kenny, come here. Huh huh. Come to Butt-head. Huh huh (Butt-head grabs Kenny, etc.)
Kenny: (muffled beyond comprehension: No way! Get the hell away from me! (struggle ensues, yelling, etc.))
Beavis: Yeah! Get ‘im! GET ‘IM! YEAH! (etc.)
Beavis & Butt-head: KENNY BASEBALL!!!
(Butt-head throws Kenny, and Beavis smacks him with the baseball bat. Kenny falls to the ground and we hear the rats approach.)
(SFX: Kenny being thrown, Crunch of being hit, rats attacking Kenny)
Hank Hill: Oh, my god! They killed Kenny!
Boomhauer: Dang ol, bastard!
Butt-head: Uh, here you go. Throw that rat right on the grill Beavis! Uh huh huh.
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
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