After years of doing geeky parodies of hip-hop hits from the 80's, 90's, and 2000's, I finally decided to parody the great grandaddy of them all, 1979's "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugar Hill Gang. My subject this time is the Emmy and Golden Globe award winning, just-renewed-for-3-more-seasons, nirvana of nerdiness sitcom smash, "The Big Bang Theory". If this were an episode of the show, I'd title it "The Impersonation Aspiration", because I attempt to perform the roles of Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj all by myself. Was the experiment a success? Results pending, click play to initiate humor attempt sequence. Music by Ph.D. Dr. Benjamin Stahl, Foley by M.Eng. Ken Sherlock, with cake server Sara Trice as Penny.
Howard: Okay guys, the competition is about to start, instrument check...Check, they're registering, everything is hooked up. Headset mike check… (Guys: "check, check" ) …Yep, we're all set.
Leonard: Now remember what's at stake here. The first place winners with the highest total score win free platinum level lifetime memberships to the live online gaming network.
Raj: I call dibs on the freestyle verse, I'm going pwn this thing with my rhymes.
Sheldon: The quality of your rhymes is irrelevant; we'll get the bonus points as long as any sound goes through your headset mike. An incessantly yipping hyper Chihuahua would do just as well as you.
Raj: Whatever, just be ready to call me Slumdog Chamillionaire.
Video Game Voice: Rockers, Online! Players, are you ready?!
Leanord: Okay, guys, this is it, here we go!
Video Game Voice: Hit it!
Verse 1 – Leonard
I said a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie to the
Hip, hip, hop, a you don't stop a rockin' to the
Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery,
It all started with a big bang. (Guys: BANG!)
Now what you hear is a science test,
An experimental beat.
And me, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj
Will get the high score to defeat.
See I am Leonard Hofstadter,
And I'm saying our hellos. (Guys: Hello!)
I'm a Pasadena California genius geek
Who can't tolerate lactose.
In my black-framed specs, I work at Caltech,
A doctoral physicist.
But like dark matter, when it comes to girls,
I can't prove that I exist.
Got a neighbor named Penny, a waitress/actress,
Hottest blonde I've ever seen.
And I know one day we'll be the cutest couple
Since David and Darlene.
Well so far you've heard my voice,
But I've brought three friends along.
And next up is Howard Wolowitz,
So come on, man, sing that song!
Verse 2 – Howard
Check it out, I'm the bowl-cut, V-neck, ladies man.
When I was born, women rejoiced.
When I play doctor, I'm horrible,
But I still make the ladies moist. (Guys: Ewww!)
Girls, if you ever come over to my house to eat,
You'll see that I'm no poser.
A candlelit dinner, until my Mom says,
(Howard's Mom: "HOWARD, IS THAT KOSHER?!")
So I say that's it, we gotta leave this place.
On my Vespa, before too long,
We'll head down south, me in my Han outfit,
You in a Slave Leia thong!
To a San Diego Hotel, Motel,
Holiday Inn! (Guys: Say what?)
Comic-Con, on an' on, an' on, on, an' on,
We'll get it on with epic win!
I've got a master of engineering degree.
May be small as a mouse, but I'm M.I.T..
When I'm not with Raj going place to place,
I'm all up in my girlfriend's aerospace.
Before I met sweet Bernadette,
I fantasized Katie Sackhoff.
And I once built NASA a robot arm.
(Leonard: And then he used it to j-) Okay, enough, Leonard!
Verse 3 – Raj
Koothrappali, I like to party.
Straight from New Dehli, I don't bother nobody. I'm,
Worshipped at, like the Temple Lotus.
(Howard: You're doing the wrong song!) Like they're going to notice!
I'm the astrophysicist
Most likely to say 'dude!'
And though I am Hindu, I'll have a cow,
Because I don’t like Indian food.
Yes, this Post-Doc was born to rock.
Got a flow that just can't miss.
So check out my breakdown freestyle rhymes,
As we go a little something like this!
[SFX: door opens, closes]
Penny: Hey guys, what's going on?
Raj: (*makes barely audible noises while others are talking*)
Leonard: Oh, hi Penny.
Penny: Oh, you're playing that Rock Guitar video game thingy.
Sheldon: And we're losing valuable freestyle bonus points because of you!
Penny: What?
Leonard: It's Raj's freestyle verse.
Raj: (*whispers to Howard*)
Howard: No, I can't rock the mic for you!
Sheldon: Penny, we need you to leave now. Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny!... (etc.)
Penny: Okay! I'll just grab my share of the Chinese take-out and go!
Leonard: Thanks, sorry.
[SFX: door opens, closes]
Howard: Okay, she's gone, Raj.
Raj: …AND I WON'T STOP ROCKING 'TIL I RETIRE!
Verse 4 - Sheldon
It's time for Doctor Sheldon Cooper
To take the mic and sing.
Theoretically, I could recount for you
"The History Of Everything".
At the age of fourteen I left the U of T,
Summa cum laude with a PhD.
Then I got another, and a Masters too.
Hollin' 1-8-7, that is my IQ.
I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast,
I'm just stating the fact that I'm smart the most.
When I solve string theory I'll be a smash,
And my fame will come faster than the Flash.
But for now I'm roommates here with Leonard,
And his inferior lot. (Guys: Hey!)
And I'll be a grouch if I find on our couch
That you're sitting in my spot.
Whether Halo, paintball, or CCGs
I'll defeat most any cretin.
Like that evil guy, (Evil Wil: "Game over, Moon Pie!")
My nemesis Wil Wheaton!
I'm a logic rock, like Mr. Spock,
But if I'm not feeling my best.
I'll [*knock knock knock*] Penny! Have her sing "Soft Kitty"
Rubbing Vicks over my chest. (Howard: Try Kaopectate?)
Just like Mee-maw did, when I was a kid,
And as soon as I feel well.
We'll all go stop at the comic shop,
'Cause we're their #1 clientele!
When I order dinner my instructions rival
Laws for corporate mergers.
My friends say I need a fast food restaurant
That can serve Aspergers.
My associate Amy Farrah Fowler
Has an intellect quite awesome.
And my friends here like to speculate
On whether love will Blossom.
And of course they're right, we'll move down to Texas,
I'll become a gospel singer.
We'll watch football and have lots of sex.
(Guys: Really?) (*Sheldon laughs*) BAZINGA! (Guys: *groan*)
You've fallen for one of my classic pranks,
That give all my friends big smiles.
I've got a flatscreen TV so I can see
My "Doctor Who" torrent files!
Leonard: Everybody!
Guys:
With a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie to the
Hip, hip, hop, a you don't stop a rockin' to the
Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery,
Sheldon: It all started with a big bang.
Guys: BANG!
Video Game Voice: Game Complete!...
Leonard: Yeah, we did it!
Howard: The leaderboard is loading, let's see how we did.
Video Game Voice: You got… Second place!
Guys: What?!?!
Sheldon: Who could have possibly have beat us?
Raj: The name of the band who won is "Suck It Sheldon, Wesley Crusher Rules".
Sheldon: WHEEEEEEEATOOOOOOOOONNN!!!!!
credits
from Be Amused By Me,
track released January 18, 2011
Lyrics & vocals by the great Luke Ski
Music by Benjamin Stahl
Foley by Ken Sherlock
Sara Trice as Penny
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
The opinions expressed here are mine alone....more
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