An original hip-hop song about mostly-derided 80's media franchise mascot/sidekick characters having a big party to celebrate how good life is despite of their haters.
lyrics
[Verse 1:]
Two old friends, neighbors in L.A.,
both leave their huge houses to start a good day.
[Snarf:] Orko, there’s a breeze, do you think I’ll need a scarf?
[Orko:] The highs are in the 80’s. I don’t think so, Snarf.
They hop in their ride, and soon they embark
to pick up their compadre near the national park.
It’s a roman style crib with columns that are doric.
The home of Mr. Wicket W. Warrick.
[Orko:] Yub-nub, bub! [Snarf:] Ewok this way! [*laughter*]
[Wicket:] Will you guys ever think of a new joke to say?
Soon they were gone, to snag a Hell-spawn
from his New Orleans style mansion next to Forest Lawn,
with a big sloppy kiss comes a real wisenheimer.
[Slimer:] [*gibberish greeting*] [Orko, Snarf, & Wicket:] Hello, Slimer.
[Bumblebee:] Be careful getting in, don’t get slime on my siding.
That was me, Bumblebee, the car in which they’re riding.
The next intersection there’s a trust-fund brat
in a Diff’rent Strokes t-shirt and a porkpie hat.
Took a look at them and gave ‘em a sneer,
and then said to his buddy, loud enough for us to hear,
[Hipster:] "Is that Orko, Slimer, Wicket, and Snarf?
Those guys are so lame, I could literally barf.”
Pulled away from the light, did they get tense?
No, they had a laugh at his expense. And they said, [*laughter*]
[Chorus 1: (All 5 sing)]
The world is full of haters, and we are the hate-ees,
but now we’re livin’ large off our dough from the 80’s.
Back when face value was alive and overt,
and irony was something that you did to a shirt.
You tell us that we suck and our lives are so tragic,
pretending you were never in our target demographic.
[Orko:] So every douchey hipster in a curly mustache,
You can keep the reboots, and we’ll keep your cash! [*laughter*]
[4 measure music break]
[Verse 2:]
Before too long, we’re at our destination,
which is our big annual congregation,
like a sorta League of Extraordinary Gentle-creatures
who made their living in cartoons, TV, and features.
This estate isn’t just palatial, it’s celestial.
The home E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial.
He's in a deck chair, right next to the beer,
and he told everyone, [E.T.:] I’ll be right here.
Under a huge umbrella in the shade
is Gizmo singing a sweet serenade. [Gizmo: *sings*]
Stripe and all the Gremlins are in the liquor, getting boozy. [Gremlins: *eating noises*]
[Snarf:] I hope they don’t find out about the indoor jacuzzi!
Alf’s in the kitchen, dipping cats in preserves.
[Alf:] Oh, these are your pets? I thought they were hors d’oeuvres! HA!
Normally he gets laughs with ease,
but Roger Rabbit just said,
[Roger:] Oh, Plblblblblblblblblbllease!
I transformed from being a Volkswagon, [*transform SFX*]
and played poker with Falcor the luck dragon.
In retrospect I get it, but how was I to know
that he would get a full house 10 times in a row. [Falcor: Heh heh heh.]
Orko, Slimer, Wicket & Snarf in the meantime
were on their iPhones checking out blogs online.
Snarky comments about them from the trolls who complain.
They all have another laugh, and then they say their refrain. [*laughter*]
[Chorus 2:]
The world is full of haters, and we are the hate-ees,
but now we’re livin’ large off our dough from the 80’s.
Back when face value was alive and overt,
and irony was something that you did to a shirt.
You tell us that we suck and our lives are so tragic,
pretending you were never in our target demographic.
[Wicket:] So all of you insisting we we’re never a smash,
You can keep the reboots, and we’ll keep your cash! [*laughter*]
[4 measure music break]
[Verse 3:]
As the sun goes down the party comes alive,
as more guests arrive. Hey, it’s Johnny Five! [Johnny:] Johnny Five!
He’s cranking out the jams with that El Debarge sound,
Watch Ludo on the dance floor, [Ludo:] Get DOWN!
[Chamberlain:] mmMMmm! - How did Chamberlain sneak into this gig?
Nevermind, he just got chased away by Fizzgig. [Fizzgig:] [*barking*]
Max Headroom is our DJ, rocking the place!
[Max:] Now watch me dro- dro-, dro-, dro- dro- dro- dop the bass! [*dubstep bass boom*]
Audrey II is here from “Little Shop Of Horrors”, [Audrey II:] Feed me!
and the only one who’s wack is Wac from “Explorers”! [Wac:] All around the world!...
Orko, Slimer, Wicket, and Snarf felt united
spending time with fellow mascots who were often derided,
like Orbity and Uni, [Uni:] *neigh!* - Glomer and Gurgi, [Gurgi:] Crunchings!
Jinx and Loo-Kee, [Loo-Kee:] Hi! - and Murky and Lurky. [Lurky:] Purty colors!
They told them they should never heed the words of a hater,
on a joyride in the ship from "Flight of the Navigator”.
[Michaelangelo:] Cowabunga, dude! - There’s Michaelangelo,
with his date, Miss Scarlett from G.I. Joe,
and she brought Strawberry Shortcake, and speaking of jams,
time for a live set from Jem and the Holograms!
A last minute arrival, hey, what a surprise!
It's Sloth from Goonies, shouting, [Sloth:] “HEY YOU GUYS!"
And who’s that with him, leaving everyone in stitches?
It's the ghost with the most! [Beetlejuice:] IT’S SHOWTIME, BITCHES!
[4 measure music break]
[*celebratory party cheering*]
[All:] Go Beetlejuice! Go Beetlejuice! Go Beetlejuice! Wait, where did he go? [etc.]
[Chorus 3 & 4:]
The world is full of haters, and we are the hate-ees,
but now we’re livin’ large off our dough from the 80’s.
Back when face value was alive and overt,
and irony was something that you did to a shirt.
You tell us that we suck and our lives are so tragic,
pretending you were never in our target demographic.
[Snarf:] So trolls in red pajamas who all think they’re the Flash,
You can keep the reboots, and we’ll keep your cash!
The world is full of haters, and we are the hate-ees,
but now we’re livin’ large off our dough from the 80’s.
Back when face value was alive and overt,
and irony was something that you did to a shirt.
You tell us that we suck and our lives are so tragic,
pretending you were never in our target demographic.
[Bumblebee:] So all the angry nerds who keep saying we’re trash,
You can keep the reboots, and we’ll keep your cash! [*laughter*]
[8 measure outro]
credits
from 4th Grade Talent Show,
released August 14, 2014
Lyrics & vocals by the great Luke Ski.
Music by the great Luke Ski & TV's Kyle.
Final mix by TV's Kyle.
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
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