On Babylon Five, I get sad and lonesome, all of the time.
All alone at home, watching what’s on ISN, yeah.
Zoot! Zootily-zootily-zoot! Zooty-Zoot!
IIIII’m Londo Mollari!
Mollari, drinks heavily, til my Drakh keeper passes out. Hey Vir!
Londo: You know what else perplexes me? How come there are dozens of comedy song parodies about Star Trek and Star Wars, but next to none about Babylon Five? I mean really? It’s been fifteen years and there aren’t even a whole album’s worth of tracks yet. Someone by now could have done a song about how we saved Centauri and freed the Narn, to the tune by Adam’s Sandler, “Peace with G’Kar! I’m making peace with G’Kar!”
Vir: Or a parody of the Beach Boys “Kokomo” about the “Zocalo”!
Londo: Yes, exactly! Or there could have been an original reggae song called “Smokin’ Refa”!
Vir: Smokin’ Refa was Morden I could handle!
Londo: Ah! Refa and Morden! Very funny Vir! But still, no songs, and no friends! I’m all alone! All by myself! There is no one here beside me! I want my friends back!
Sheridan, Marcus, G’Kar, Zack, Ivonova,
Franklin, Delenn, Garabaldi, and Kosh!
I-I-I-I-I’m Londo Mollari! IIIII’m Londo Mollari!
Centauri! Minbari don’t like me. So sorry. So starry.
IIIII’m so sad and lonely, and buffoonish, and overweight. IIIII’m so sad and lonely.
Won’t someone from this station, please be a friend to me?
‘Cause I ain’t so bad.
This really gets old! It’s just so old, that’s it’s almost Jurasik!
Oh, what I need, what I really want and need,
Need a small, bald, pony-tailed, mama,
Great Maker! Ain’t got nobody, no friends at all! Kosh, help me out!
(Kosh in italics)
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Sinclair! Sinclair.
Lennier! Lennier.
Dr. Franklin! Dr. Franklin.
Garabaldi! Garabaldi.
John Sheridan! John Sheridan.
Susan Ivonova! Susan Ivonova.
Delenn and Marcus! Delenn and Marcus.
Zack and Lyta! Zack and Lyta.
And of course G’Kar! You forgot Lockley and Talia.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody! Nobody.
Nobody gives a damn about me.
Bo-dilly-bop bid-del-lee-yo do-bop, do-waaaaaah!!! Yeah!!!
Closing scene:
[SFX: Ambient restaurant noise]
Vir: Do you feel better now, Londo?
Londo: I do, thank you Vir. Say, bring me some of that Earth delicacy. What do the humans call it?
Vir: Bacon?
Londo: Yes! Bring me some of that!
Vir: Right away, Londo.
Londo: Bacon is tasty and delicious. Much better than Spoo…
[end]
credits
from Target: Audience,
released August 14, 2008
Lyrics & vocals by the great Luke Ski
Music by Bob Emmet
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
The opinions expressed here are mine alone....more
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