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House Party At Arkham Asylum

from Worst Album Ever by the great Luke Ski

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An original hip-hop song, about 'The Joker' and the villains of DC Comic's "Batman".

lyrics

(8 measure opening)

Joker: (slow increasing laugh, with echo)

Verse 1:
House party at Arkham Asylum.
I'm the Joker, the man, your host.
Shake my hand my fine cousin,
You'll feel the joy buzzin',
It'll fry you up like French Toast. (*buzz/shock sfx*) (Yaah!)

House party at Arkham Asylum.
Harley Quinn is your hostess today.
Take their coat and their hat and
Give them a straight jacket!
Harley: "Sure thing, Mista J.!"
So join us at the-

Chorus 1:
House party at Arkham Asylum!
Where there ain't no ifs, ands, or buts.
'Cause we're disoriented,
As well as demented.
Yeah, we've all gone a little bit nuts! (Koo-koo! Koo-koo!)

House party at Arkham Asylum!
Just forget all your toil and strife,
'Cause we run this asylum,
So we'll be buck-wylin',
For the next 20 years to life!

Verse 2:
House party at Arkham Asylum.
On the dance floor the Penguin is kickin'.
He did the surfin bird,
Spun around, and said 'word!'
And then segued to the funky chicken.
(Penguin: Waa waa waa!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Just watch Catwoman dance to the beat
'Cause someone slipped Selina
Funky Col' Medina
Now she's writhing around in heat.
(Catwoman: Mreaow!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
And our D.J. is driving us crazy!
Because it's Mr. Freeze.
We keep asking him, 'Please!
Will you stop playing "Ice Ice Baby"?'
(Mr. Freeze: Word to your mother!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Riddler: So Riddle me this, my fine guests.
What'cha call a disc jockey
Whose demise is quite shocking?
I know! It's D.J. Jazzy Death!
(*buzz/shock sfx*) (Mr. Freeze: Yaah!)
Chorus 2:
House party at Arkham Asylum!
Where there ain't no ifs, ands, or buts.
'Cause we're disoriented,
As well as demented.
Yeah, we've all gone a little bit nuts! (Koo-koo! Koo-koo!)

House party at Arkham Asylum!
Just forget all your toil and strife,
'Cause we run this asylum,
So we'll be buck-wylin',
For the next 20 years to life!

Verse 3:
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Bring on Batman and all of his crew!
Robin, Batgirl, and Nightwing
Will feel the greased lightning
When they get some shock treatment too! (Woo hoo hoo!)
(*buzz/shock sfx*)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
The Mad Hatter zonks every complainer.
Scarface wants karaoke,
Clayface wants "Hokey Pokey",
Scarecrow wants "the Macarena"!
(AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
On the mike, hear the maniacs rock.
Just watch Rash-Al-Ghul
Go and kick it old school
With his new rapping partner, 'Kid Croc!'
(Killer Croc: BAWITABA!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Bane just asked Poison Ivy to dance.
She said 'Not a chance, fatty',
Because she knows that he
Just wants to get into her plants!
(WHOOO-OOAAAA!!!)
Chorus 3:
House party at Arkham Asylum!
Where there ain't no ifs, ands, or buts.
'Cause we're disoriented,
As well as demented.
Yeah, we've all gone a little bit nuts! (Koo-koo! Koo-koo!)

House party at Arkham Asylum!
Just forget all your toil and strife,
'Cause we run this asylum,
So we'll be buck-wylin',
For the next 20 years to life!

(Bridge: 8 measures, Joker laughs with echo)

Verse 4:
House party at Arkham Asylum.
We've thrown out every film script.
Keaton, Kilmer, and Clooney,
Facing off with this Looney,
They'd all end up in a bat-crypt.
(Keaton: I'm Bat-gaaahh!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Tim Burton is here, we're excited!
Though it may seem Two-Faced,
For reasons of good taste,
Joel Schumacher wasn't invited.
(YAAAAYY!!!)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Those Justice League dorks aren't so vicious.
Wonder Woman and Flash
And Green Lantern got bashed,
And Aquaman sleeps with the fishes.
(*bubbles/drowning*)
House party at Arkham Asylum.
Not even Superman could win tonight,
Because we rocked his butt, with a twelve inch cut,
Called "Disco Kryptonite"! Ha ha haaaa!!!!

Chorus 4:
House party at Arkham Asylum!
Where there ain't no ifs, ands, or buts.
'Cause we're disoriented,
As well as demented.
Yeah, we've all gone a little bit nuts! (Koo-koo! Koo-koo!)

House party at Arkham Asylum!
Just forget all your toil and strife,
'Cause we run this asylum,
So we'll be buck-wylin',
For the next 20 years to life!

(8 measure outro & fadeout, inmates repeat phrase while Joker & Harley talk)
House party at Arkham Asylum!… House party at Arkham Asylum!…
House party at Arkham Asylum!… House party at Arkham Asylum!… (etc.)

Joker: (laughing with echo) Come Harley, let's adjourn to our maximum-security boudoir, and bring the whoopee cushion, so we can make a little whoopee! (laughs)
Harley: Sure thing, Puddin'! You wanna go for a ride on your Harley?
Joker: (laughs) Yes my dear, let's go hog wild! (laughs)
Harley: Ooh! (Joker continues to laugh with echo)

credits

from Worst Album Ever, released July 26, 2003
Lyrics & Vocals by the great Luke Ski
Additional vocals by the LukeSkiCon '98 Tabernacle Choir
Music arrangement & engineering: J.T. Sienkowski & Paul Hettiger

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about

the great Luke Ski Burbank, California

"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .

Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.

The opinions expressed here are mine alone.
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