This is a parody of "Denton USA" from the movie "Shock Treatment" (the sequel to "Rocky Horror"), about the films of Kevin Smith ("Clerks", "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back", etc.).
Veronica: You'll find slacker Clerks, profane banal chats,
And shopping centers, all full of Mallrats, in Red Bank.
Dante: There's Jay and Silent Bob, with drugs to fence,
Alyssa: and baby-voiced lesbians, in Red Bank.
Jay: You'll see fallen angels make a Catholic slay-ground.
Red Bank is a real effed-up town.
Get a burger with Mooby-moo-cheese, [*moo!*]
And prophets smokin' –
Silent Bob: (*sound of taking a big toke inhalation*)
Jay: - Snootchie bootchies!
Kaitlin & Veronica: We ain't exactly goodie-goodie-two-shoes,
A bunch of savages with good news,
(Walt: Tell 'em Steve-Dave!)
That R-E-D B-A-N-K, is A-O-K,
If you're straight, or you're gay!
Jay: If you're looking for a place to get high,
Veronica: And your girlfriend did it with a dead guy,
Jay: Again and again,
Veronica: And again and again,
Jay & Veronica: And again!
EVERYBODY: Red Bank, Red Bank, we're a – Star Wars think tank,
Di – scussing Death Star casualty,
(Roofer: Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved.)
Leonardo, where that – Willum lardo
Will – see a magic-eye schooner,
(Willum: When do I get to see the sailboat?!?!)
Meet a Black Panther poofter!
(Banky: What's a Nubian?)
(Hooper X: Shut up, tracer!)
We're – Red Bank, Red Bank, New Jersey!
Randall: This is the place where you're judged morally,
Veronica: If you sell cigarettes,
Randall: But it's okay if your girl's orally,
Veronica: Involved with 36.
(Dante: Including me?)
(Veronica: 37.)
(Dante: Oh my God!)
Randall: At the video store, it's the customers I mock.
Jay: And God? You bet! It's Alanis Morrissette!
Brodie: And Mr. Fantastic can elongate his-
(Brodie: -what the? That kid is back on the escalator again!!!)
EVERYBODY: Red Bank, Red Bank, we've got – monkeys to spank,
We're – taking them 'cross the country.
(Jay: In a world gone mad, the monkey will spank us.!)
Leonardo, the Quick – Stop is charred, oh no!
"Finger Cuffs" is gropin',
But – I assure you we're open!
We're – Red Bank, Red Bank, New Jersey!
(Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today!)
Red Bank, Red Bank, we've got – Kevin to thank
For – movies made for you and me.
(Zack: Wanna make a porno?)
(Kaitlin: Not this Jersey girl!)
Red Bank, Red Bank, they just – want us to crank
Out – comics, cartoons, and toys,
For – fangirls and fanboys,
We're – Red Bank, Red Bank, New Jersey!
Jay: NAGA-NOOCH!
[Silent Bob: …I… …I got nothin'.]
credits
from Be Amused By Me,
released August 4, 2011
Lyrics by the great Luke Ski
Vocals by the great Luke Ski, Carrie Dahlby, Insane Ian, and the Stacey
Music by Bob Emmet
"the great Luke Ski" is The Dr. Demento Show's most requested artist of the 21st Century. His parodies and original songs
about pop-culture have made him a favorite performer at fandom conventions all across the country. Founding member of The Funny Music Project, aka 'the FuMP' .com .
Luke Ski is an animation Storyboarder, Writer, & Voice-Over Actor.
The opinions expressed here are mine alone....more
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